If you wanna commit suicide, I've got a recommendation. It's much fun and exciting than jumping down from don't-know-how-many-stories 'cause this method is pretty much unpredictable. It keeps your adrenalin rush flowing like the the waters in white water rafting. It's "safer" than popping pills 'cause you don't need to read the instructions and therefore scare yourself beofre you die. Okay, enough of the introduction. Just take bus 74 from AMK to Clementi and if you get yourself killed within 365 days, prepare your own celebrations albeit being in heaven or hell! Sickening bus. Damn the bus drivers. Fuck the routes.

Fortunately, or rather unfortunately, the bus drivers of service 74 seem to be those fresh out of IMH. They will drive at crazy speeds, okay still under the speed limits, and brake suddenly to avoid the red lights. They'll jerk the bus in traffic jams as if the bus has good suspensions. And if your face don't turn green by then and die of giddiness, perhaps you'll face death by being squashed in between the doors which the drivers will open and close the doors at very, very short intervals, even 10m before reaching the bustop. So, commuters will be half-way alighting the bus and "TROMP!" the door will close even before both legs can safely touch the ground. So depending on the angle that you're alighting the bus, you may have to reclaim your missing body parts at the final destination that the bus goes to, provided you're still alive. Or you can simply purchase them at THE BODY SHOPS islandwide.

So, you're a mentally strong person huh? Able to withstand frequent changes of the speed of the bus, not to mention being alive out of the umpteenth time the bus jerks in a yet another traffic jam. So you think you can prove me wrong? Try surviving the freezing temperature of the bus which is undoubtfully, lower than the freezer temperature of the COLD STORAGE.

But that applies only to the later stages of the ride whereby the number of passengers would have decreased tremendously. For the earlier parts of the ride, you'll take part in an immunity challenge with the other commuters by which the winner will get the ultimate prize, OXYGEN. for the packed-like-sardines condition of the bus will definitely cut off your oxygen supply and give access to more unwanted gases like carbon dioxide, perfumes, colognes and not to mention German gases.

When you passed that test, try the "I Can Survive The Blaring Air-Con" competition. Without any long sleeve shirt and sweaters and windbreakers please. You've got to be fair to those ah peks who took the bus too. Well, i don't seem to spot any winners till today, or rather any casualties. But half-way through the journey i can see people struggling to keep their eyes open and worse still, some trying their best to keep their body still after being tranquilised. Nodding of heads and resting on other people's shoulders are a common sight in bus 74.

I think they died a silent death. No foam coming out of the mouth, no bloodshed and the autopsy certified that they died a natural death. What can I say? Before you believe my thesis as above, do note that most of the dead wake up to live whenever the bus reaches Ngee Ann Polytechnic and I'm not able to comment on the condition of the rest of the passengers as my furtherest stop will be Singapore Polytechnic. I suppose the only person able to judge my statments are the bus drivers alone, for they are able to assess the whole situation from the beginning to the end of the journey. So if you have any queries, don't hesitate to take the bus ride to experience the whole thing and be a good companion to the bus driver.

I just hope that when you tap your EZ-Link card when you first board the bus, you'll be able to tap it again when you alight. Good luck.