Blogger's Disclaimer

Muhd Fitri Bin Khamis
01/06/1988
Singapore Polytechnic
Media & Communication

View Friendster profile

Whatever the author has written in this site is entirely due to his heart's contents.

It may be crude, offensive, stupid, childish or any other objectives that you can think of.

But that's him. When he blogs, it's from his heart and soul. So, he will not responsible for any displeasure, discontent or disagreement of any kind as they are purely coincedental.

Cheerios!


Note:This blog is best viewed with Mozilla Firefox

The past

January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2007

Video

Stars are blind, literally for Paris Hilton's case
.

Music

In Between Dreams by Jack Johnson

Friends

alicia
alvin
azri
boon piang
cheryl
devon
edwin
eleine
ervina
eunice
faddy
fiona
hafizah
herwan
haikal
hazirah
izzy
jaja
jiahong
joannah
joanne
joanne (N'Devil)
kyun
laila
lydia
lydia adlina
mardiana
may
melissa
michelle
mike
min
minling
nadhirah
normanisa
nurjehan
nurjihan
patricia
poh ying
qianru
rose
sandy
shahidah
shi qi
valentia
zhuhri

Ghost
Haro Singapore!
jasiminne
kenny sia
maddox
mr brown
mr miyagi
xiaxue

SPFB
spac2go

Tag

Google
 
Web fitree.blogspot.com

Credits


Layout by up_in_lights
Take a look at this & other blog designs @ Blogskins.com



Tuesday, June 28, 2005

I got a pile of letters when I opened up the letterbox today. Very surprising for me 'cause i will only anticipate bills and advertisements everytime i open it. Still they usually come in pairs, triplets if i'm lucky. this time round, it's really classified as a pile. and much to my amazement, perhaps a little bit of horror, i got a letter from MINDEF reminding me to enlist myself online for... NS lah, what else. i came to wonder, how will life be when i finally enter NS....

Platoon Fi3: eh, what's for lunch today ah?

Platoon Bong: whatever that's on your plate lah...

Sargeant Chew: PLATOON FI3 AND PLATOON BONG! WASH ALL THE PLATES AFTER YOUR LUNCH! I ASKED YOU TO EAT, YOU TALK! YOUR TEACHERS NEVER TEACH YOU PROPER ENGLISH IS IT?

Platoon Fi3: but sir, you and i are from the same school what... our english teacher is mrs tan, remember or not? if she never teach me that means she never teach you also what...

SARGEANT Aaron: YOU DARE TO GO AGAINST SARGEANT CHEW'S WORDS! EXTRA WORK FOR YOU - GO AND CLEAN THE DINING AREA AFTER YOU'VE FINISHED WASHING THE DISHES!

Platoon Bong: see lah, who asked you to open your mouth so big? open mouth only to eat, not to talk. that's rule #1 in the army...

Sargeant Chew: WHAT'S THAT I HEAR PLATOON BONG? YOU OPEN YOU MOUTH ONLY TO EAT, NOT TO TALK! THAT'S RULE #1 IN THE ARMY! UNDERSTAND!
all the platoons: YES SIR!!!

Brigidier General Mah Ser: WHY DID YOU PLATOONS OPEN YOUR MOUTH TO TALK? 10KM RUN FOR EVERYONE NOW!!! MOVE IT, MOVE IT! ON THE DOUBLE!

After a long and tired day, night finally befalls. before lights out, i came to see Platoon Edwin and Platoon Andrew who are doing their guard duty...

Platoon Fi3: eh, where's Andrew?
Platoon Edwin: he's out on duty. just killed a terrorrist with an Artic sniper rifle...
Platoon fi3: huh? got intruder just now ah?
Platoon Andrew (from inside the guard house): i playing counter-stike online lah! just fragged a noob! keep a look out for me ah! i scared i kena spotted by Sargeant ah..
Platoon Fi3: wah, you better stop laming man, edwin.. if not you in forest later kena shot also people won't get a medic for you...
Platoon Edwin: don't worry. i won't get shot so easily one.. if we all chiong as a group ah, the enemy won't spot me so easily. i'll stay somewhere in the middle of the pack. see lah, who ask you be so tall...

How i wish i've got a weapon on hand at that time to just commit a murder... no, not killing my bunkmate but rather myself.


Back to reality, people. i've decided to apply for a deferment. i rest my case.

fitri penned this at 6:54 PM

Sunday, June 26, 2005

I was thinking about my times in my secondary school days when something struck my dull mind - how come some girls can fail their 2.4 KM run? Well, i'm referring to no one in particular anyway, so don't be offended, yeah? Afterall, you can ask why some guys can't pull themselves up the pull-up bar since it seems so easy to do so, 'cause i'm categorised under that.

Do you realise that when you shop ladies, you walk for more than 2.4 KM? I had an experience today whereby I have to follow my "girlfriends" to shop around Orchard Road. Every shop was left with no mercy as the girls hunted them down one by one. Oh well, it's a norm to come out empty-handed nowadays right? Yet, even in the GSS period, we still can't afford some stuffs. take for example this:

"LAST DAY OFFER!"
Original price: $300
Discounted price: $ 267


does it make any great difference to the size of the hole that's burning your pocket? GSS my foot ah. but don't be deterred by it 'cause some stuffs ARE REALLY a good bargain. You just have to have a better vision to detect them. I understand that Singapore has one of the highest myopia cases around but let's not make that an excuse, shall we? i bet that when it boils down to money matters, our "kiasuism" can be matched by no one. even the slightest hint of sale offered by the shop at the dark and murky corner, situated in the lonely alley, will be lightened up by a trail of Singaporeans who are constantly defying their myopic characteristic in exchange for hawk eyes.

Ahh... let's not digress people. Let's just say you hadjust received your pay and would really, really love to go shopping!!! So, you begin your journey from the Cineleisure to Heeren to Paragon to Wisma Atrium to Wheelock Place and finally... to Far East Plaza, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that the whole distance covered is more than 2.4 KM, does it?

"But we still have to finish under 17 minutes to pass the test!" one young lady screamed in disgust.

Okay fine. What makes you run for a shops that screams "SALE!" at every level of the shopping centre, rush to save your overflowing bladder before filling up your growling stomachs with a filling meal? I bet they all can be covered under 17 minutes albeit the longer distance covered.

No wonder girls are from Venus and men from Mars. We're all just 2 different creatures after all. Maybe we can have a mencare centre in malls to accommodate the Martians while the Venusians let their hair down for more catfights and travels at breakneck speeds. Oh well, it's just a suggestion...

fitri penned this at 12:15 PM

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

It has been a week since made my last posting on my blog. It's definitely not the lazy bug that caught me, okay! It 's just that i'm sorting out my new computer at my house. YES! You've seen it right, i finally got my very own computer which i can call it a PC without any sense of guilt. but, it's still lacks something though- an internet connection. so i hope that will answer your rants about the lack of updates in my blog lately. i can't be at my aunt's place everyday lah, very troublesome. my schedule's packed with projects and stuffs some more..

I'd like to dedicate this entry to people who like to wear shirts with stupid imprints printed on. i say stupid because on top of the imprints which made no significant change to how you look other than making you look even more stupid, if you already aren't by purchasing the shirt in the first place, it's also a powerful tool to make you be at the butt of jokes. that if you're still smiling to yourself when people laugh at you, thinking that you're a fashion trendsetter, when you're so obviously NOT!

something nearly scared me out of my wits when i took the escalator down to the bus stop where i took the 74 bus home everyday. (sian right, same bus everyday. i can get to know the details of the bus drivers if i really want to.) this guy, wearing a pastel blue shirt was standing beside his guy friend, i suppose to wait for their bus. what struck me was this: his shirt had the imprints of "I AM A VIRGIN"

i was like "what"! i didn't expect teh creativity and openness of Singaporeans to go up so many levels, so fast! nevertheless, a couple of instances suddenly shook my mind. let's call the guy in blue shirt, D and his friend, EMD.

1. EMD was so dumb not to get D's hint's that he's a virgin that D had to show it visually.
2. D was justing acting cute, hoping to catch the attention of Mediacorp, which i hope they don't. 'cause it'll be an insult to the media industry.
3. D was trying to get fresh with the chio bus in SP, especially the virgins, but eventually i think he'll be satisfied even if she's not a virgin and not a chio bu even. would you want to even look at a loser like him?
4. D had no other shirt to wear. thus, he wore this particular shirt that was given to him by his mum for his 16th birthday. "Son, i don't want you to mix with bad company. i hope when you wear this shirt, you'll wear it with pride and uphold your values," D's mum advised.

Well, being a filial son, D wore it with pride and dignity. i can sense it when i went down the escalator; it nearly made my nose hair curl. personally, i can't think of any logical reason of wearing that shirt, especially with big imprints that stretches horizontally over your chest and vertically down to your tummy. basically, it covers the whole front part of the shirt.

whatever his reasons for wearing the shirt are, i hope that i don't see it more often in SP after today. if it does become a fashion trend, i'll kill myself, a virgin i swear!. by the way, i give names for a reason. just if case you're wondering, D stands for 'DUMB' and EMD stands for "EVEN MORE DUMB".

please my dear citizens, i clearly comprehend the fact that Singapore's birth rate is low and ever-declining. but, procreate the traditional way. get on the bed, have fun. and oh before that, i'd like to remind the men out there. tackle girls the right way, not by wearing a shirt that says you're a virgin. after wristbands that offer support to anti-racism, breast cancer and stuff, i'd certainly like to see shirts supporting virginity as the last campaign ever to be brought up here.

please??? i don't wanna die, what more as a virgin...
you get what i mean.

fitri penned this at 5:15 PM

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Connect 2005 - an event meant for DMC students for all the year 1s, 2s and 3s to know and interact with each other. i don't think it really served its main purpose after today. still, i really appreciate that this event was organised. the seniors were humourous, fun and great -impromptu or not.

year 1 people were divided into a number of groups, mainly categorised under TV serials and movies. well, "Finding Nemo" wasn't really the best choice of all names, especially when you've got to act a scene from the movie. but still, we managed to get claps and cheers from our not-so-artistic way of forming "DMC", collaborating with the other group members. so, other than getting to know the names of Khairunnisa and Dawn, i can only know that the others exist in my group. i either forgot their names or just don't bother to ask for their names.

Sitze, or rather Gerrard, was the Man of the Match, or rather Woman of the Match. He's born an actor, like how Mozart is born a composer. I still can't believe it that he's my schoomate, my classmate, my friend. you have to witness how he acts as a seductive desperate housewife to really believe what i'm going to say about him. recall the advert of "Desperate Housewife" by which this bosomy lady washed a car seductively and then go on to squeeze the soap from the sponges strategically down her "Grand Canyon"? well, this one-of-a-kind Gerrard did just that in front of a live audience. and he's got what ladies don't, by the way, meaning he's a straight guy! pardon his curly hair and "i'm a lady-killer" attitude. GOSH! while i really admire his courage in doing so, i couldn't believe it that it's Gerrard! luckily we knew that he was acting like a lady, or else anyone would have mistaken him for a sissy. who won't when you hear his soft and soothing voice together with his oh-so-elegant body movements? you thoroughly deserved the "Best Actor" award, my friend! sadly, he's not going to attend class for tomorrow. it's his big day. No, no... he hasn't decided to go for a sex change despite receiving a positive feedback from the audience but rather, he has to attend for his sister's wedding dinner. for all his Jekyll & Hyde personality, i pray hard that he will show the correct one for tomorrow, or else... i don't know what else to say!

MCR's "Helena" and "I'm Not OK (I Promise)" were belted out by one of SP's numerous keep-on-dreaming rock bands. but eh, i really appreciate it that they played these songs. live band leh... you know how tough it is to follow MCR's songs? wah... my eardrums nearly burst hearing the band play, all thanks to Mr. Amps and Mrs. Speaker.

Wow, today's really a special day. For the first time since i entered poly, I saw Cat, Andrew and Edwin. while all three meetings were pretty much coincedental, Cat's one was much more meaningful. Haha! maybe 'cause i haven't seen her for a very long time. i only managed to see Andrew through the window of the double-deck bus that i took to school. he was running for the bus when i last saw him. whether he did board the bus or not was left to be a mystery to be solved. Edwin tried to disguise himself by wearing contact lens but his height still "stood out", undoubtfully. he was the opposite of andrew. no lah... not that edwin's a bad guy. i met him when i'm taking 74 back home. so, andrew was before school, cat in school and edwin after school. pretty chronological eh? i think vince, ahmad and disheng had been wiped out from the surface of the Earth. how? i don't know. but till now, i still haven't smell their blood. perhaps it's time to change my nose, it's nearing the expiry date.

ps: i having a few problems with my handphone now, so pardon me people if i don't reply your messeges! i can't make calls or message out! so my handphone now i pretty much a white elephant. no wait, it's still a handphone by default.

fitri penned this at 8:33 PM

Monday, June 13, 2005

I have major problem right now. This is WEEK 3 in SP but I haven't met any Malay peeps, except those that i know of of course. no offence to the other races, who are my friends but i'm just highlighting a fact that's being written in my life now. take for example in my course, i can count the number of Malays with my own fingers. my School of Business? maybe can count my toes in la. haha! of course i hope that won't happen. anyway, i'm just taking the freshies into account, so there's still hope even though it's slim.

So, i think i have to prepare to celebrate Chinese New Year instead of Hari Raya for this year. if this is still the situation that i face by the end of the month, i can say goodbye to my green packets and baju kurung. i'll be substituting them with red ones instead and don NOT a cheongsam of course. chinese men wear what when they go visiting ah? i seriously have no idea. always see them in casual clothing. is it true?



Consider this: You were about to alight the bus, as per normal i MUST stress. Someone had alighted in front of you. And that someone, took a brief pause right in front of the exit door, as if there's no other people who's alighting the bus. You had be considerate enough not to delay other people's precious time on the bus and considerate enough to let the person in front of you move on from her brief pause.

now tell me, is it natural to think about the previous statement when it's not your normal routine? there you go. what happens next is pretty much unexpected though. i don't know how i did it but i ACCIDENTALLY, really, stepped onto the shoe of the lady in front of me. ( ya lah, that someone who took that brief pause is actually this freaking lady lah.. ) in a split second, maybe shorter, the shoe landed on the tar flooring rather than staying put at its original place.

it's latest condition: a shoe in perfect condition except for a snapped lace.
the latest casualty: the poor lady, rubbing her feet profusely which i don't see the reason why.
the victim: me, yes me! don't believe?


me: i'm so sorry ma'am. are you alright?
lady: ..... (rubbing her feet)
me: i'm really, really sorry. it was accidental...
lady ..... ( still rubbing her feet before dragging her feet to the ground)
me: ma'am are you really okay?
lady: you don't know how to walk is it?
(finally, i'm relieved that she's not mute nor dumb!)
me: are you hurt? i'm really sorry...

by this time, i began to walk away from her. actually, i apologised and asked for her well-being many more times on top of what i've written above. but, i was treated like a dumb ass, not being answered but given a black face instead. now you know why i'm the victim instead of her? was it really my fault? analyse the situation yourself. i've got the whole thing out of my mind now. i seriously walked away from her after she ignored me for all my sincere help and feelings for her. i don't have time for this type of people. so ignorant, so stuck up, so proud.

by the way, i think i know why my luck today is as rotten as my luck. in the morning, i saw a red bra hanging on the steps of the overhead bridge that i take to go to the opposite side of the road. a red bra you heard me right. adding to the list of breaking mirrors, a black cat crossing your path and walking under ladders comes.... a red bra? i'm not superstitious. but somehow, that red bra may have brought me bad luck, don't you think so too?

fitri penned this at 8:37 PM

Saturday, June 11, 2005

I had a marathon or rather a bilathon today. First thing in the morning after the morning routines, i went to have a soccer game at the street soccer court. after 2 weeks of not touching the soccer ball at all, i'm not lying, it feels heavenly to be able to feel it once more. oh well, it still can't beat the feeling of on orgasm. let's not digress. now comes the bad part of it. after 2 weeks, my body can only hold for about 30 mins of high-tempo playing. i can easily collapse should a strong gust of wind blows, what more a blow from the elbow of the opponent. while i didn't really pant like a dog, i was short of breath as if i had a baby's heart for the nody of a giant. shucks. such low fitness level i have. i wonder how i'm gonna pass my NAPFA test in poly. oh well...

after a hectic search for PCs at Funan IT Mall, i had to head to the Indoor Stadium before 8pm to catch the PCK Musical with Jehan. i only had roughly 1 hour of rest, by which i got to get changed for the later part of the day, before i find myself having to embark on a holy pilgrimage from the Kallang MRT station to the Indoor Stadium. i knew of no shortcut nor any buses that goes there. so we had to walk a long route to the National Stadium, eating dust and smoke along the way. Jehan says it's behind the National Stadium, but which side? i don't wanna end up walking one whole round like an idiot. finally, fortunately and luckily, we saw light at the end of the tunnel.

"SINGAPORE INDOOR STADIUM"

such a relief, really. we asked 2 people along the way. one said, walk into the National Stadium's East Entrance and turn right. Another said walk towards the People's Park and turn left. MY FOOT AH! well, we can see the People's Park at the other end BUT cranes, muddy lands and people wearing yellow helmets greeted us instead. The National Stadium? i can do another nighwalk right at that moment, should i choose that path, even if it's only 6 in the evening. Alas, i we had a divine intervention. A police van! but wait, is there any men in blue around? Yes! my prayers are finally answered!

So, i went to ask the policeman nicely.

Me: Sir, do you know the way to the Indoor Stadium?
Him: Indoor Stadium ah? erm, wait ah.. i think it's over there. (pointing to a direction)
Me: You mean it's behind there? i can walk through this path here and reach there?
Him: if i'm not wrong, can ah... just try ah.. and look around for any signboards that can lead you there.
Me: Oh ok, thanks. (reluctantly)

By the way, he's holding a walkie-talkie that's so obviously working. so firstly, i don't understand why Singapore's police doesn't have anything that can help others should they are lost. yet, they're called into action when someone's missing. Secondly, the walkie-talkie. THE WALKIE-TALKIE! okay, 'nuf said.

Back to my bilathon. approximately another 1 km before we reached our final destination. greeted by indian songs along the way ala Bollywood minus the trees in beautiful gardens. at last, i got to the finishing line albeit the non-existence of the stopclock to time my run. still, i was glad i can finally rest my butt, okay myself, while getting entertained by PCK and his family - in 5 minutes time.

YAY! AIR-CON! WATER! LOO!
I need all of them, fast! Pretty lucky for me i can get a taste of all of them, except the loo, before the lights went out. If you wanna know, the musical was nearly for a mature audience. Ah-Ma was like scolding her late husband like a gambler who just lost his wagers and kept emphasising on the phrase "kampong slut". and the dancers, wow... remind me not to go overboard. putting a pole in between their legs in one of the dances, stooped low to the ground and raised their never-ending long legs high up into the air. man, i regret not getting the front seats. Haha!

"back to earth Fitri, it's your birthday present. you should be grateful for what you got," suddenly my angel whispered to me. Okay.. okay.. i'll be down in no time...

nearly more than 2 hours of fun, laughter and light-hearted jokes. it was certainly worth the money and time. what more can you ask for? still, i'd love to minus that marathon that i took part in. thanks so much "chix"! i really owe you a lot this time!

fitri penned this at 12:27 PM

Thursday, June 09, 2005

A new machine has just stamped its authority in the School of Business. Well, i admit it is unique 'cause it dispenses bottled drinks, more to Coca-Cola drinks actually. But why all the hype about it? people surrounding the machine as if it can read what's going on their minds and kept smiling to themselves whenever they look at it. HAHAHA! they looked as if they're senile. in fact, i'll be seen as one too as i can't help but to smile to myself, looking at other people's reactions when they're facing that new dispensing machine. but hey, perhaps the it's same reaction as when can drinks were first made possible to purchase in those similar machines. then came snack dispensing ones before those which can allow us to purchase Nike soccer balls came into our life, more noticably along Orchard Road. I love that Nike campaign. Nike is always so damn creative. how i wish i can be part of their company....

Okay, now that i've got your attention, i wanna highlight a pathetic issue that Singapore's facing right now - unemployment. yeah, it was so damn serious that when i went to Wheelock Place a few days back, i saw this Mr. Singh being made to open a door for people to go in and out. i supposed he was hired la, can't be voluntary work right? if not, he'll be kicked out in no time already. anyway my point is, is the situation now so desperate that we have to have someone being paid just to open the door?

Sorry Mr. Harban Singh. i respect you for doing a legal job for whatever reasons you may have that made you sign on that dotted line in the contract. but i've just got to talk my heart contents out about this thing here.

so getting on, if his job, which was neither hazardous nor boorish, was not "bad" enough, consider this fact. he was all alone. YES! HE WAS ALL ALONE! so imagine. he was dressed up actually, like those people who welcomed you when you first step out of the taxi in the boulevard of a 5-star hotel. but this poor old guy, had to use his every ounce of energy to pull the door and keep it open by putting one of his foot in front of the door, while he stands behind it. i seriously don't know if he was forced to do the job or not! i mean this is so damn shameful! while he tries most of the time to smile and greet everyone that comes in with his most sincere "hello!", i guess what made a bigger impact was that brief moments by which he looked down and tried to comfort himself into completing the job.

perhaps he was really in need of cash. maybe he was trying sincerely a manner by which he could get hold of some cash to make use of it for something important. i couldn't bring myself to ask him why he did that job. not that it's stupid, but it's simply ridiculous. imagine having a person being given the job of opening every single public door that's available in Singapore, excluding the toilet doors of course. but at least if that scenario did really happen, it will not be discouraging for those who did it 'cause they know they're not alone. but for this poor Mr. Singh, he was by himself, watching people in trendy clothes sashaying in and out of Wheelock Place and dining expensive food a la carte style. who knows he can only afford a cup of teh tarik and 2 slices of sandwiches each day while the rest of his money goes into his pocket for medical reasons perhaps?

i noticed something was amiss when i went out of Borders. Mr. Singh wasn't there. Has his shift ended for the day? I will be relieved if that is so 'cause his presence has created a stir in my mind. But a few brief steps foward later, i saw this reluctant figure heading towards the same door that Mr Singh was at around an hour ago. He was taking short steps towards, what is suppose will be his "destination". I just kept thinking that that figure was not to be Mr. Harban Singh. But i can't defy the odds. his nametag had his name written clearly, if not proudly for someone who wears his responsibility on his heart.

so i turned around and had a final look at his "resemblence" holding the door open for disrespectful and arrogant Singaporeans, who can't even say a small "thank you" to someone doing a small favour gor them. for someone who's so humble, who doesn't need lots of badges for recognition purposes and does a job which most people will give a weird expression to, a small thank you will even bring a smile to his face. i regretted not saying thanks to him when i first entered Wheelock Place, simply 'cause i was astonished to see someone opening the door for me! worse still, i didn't say thanks to him when i went out of that place as i wanted to avoid going through a door that has been opened for me. who am i anyway? i'm just a normal human being, just like Mr Harban Singh, so why the discrimination of status?

i have a sense of regret in me now, a feeling of remorse. but what can i do to twist the situation around? now we aim to have full time councillors in all schools by the near future. and 2 security guards for each institution too. but other than to encourage entrpreneurship, must the government really go to the extent of creating jobs such as the one i saw at Wheelock Place? wait till this current batch of "Year Of Dragon" graduate from their respective institutions. looking at the current conditons, i wonder how we're going to be accommodated.

still, my main point here is not creating sympathy for Mr Harban Singh. Neither do i wanna criticize the government. i just hope that while i try to create a bit of awareness here, my dear readers will say a sincere "thank you" to Mr Singh should you see him doing that small favour to you which you may take for granted. Aren't you ashamed of yourself to be taught social etiquettes here? well you should actually. if he's isn't there, i hope he left on mutual consent, not sacked for not being up to standard. if he's sacked, let me see the person who sacked him do a better job.

better start appreciating small stuffs that make a big difference to your life my readers. as for Mr Harban Singh, i salute you sir. this country need more humble people like you.

fitri penned this at 8:20 PM

Monday, June 06, 2005

Okay, I'll succumb to the fact that I was hot-headed the other time and couldn't keep my emotions in check. Who can? I'm promised that I'll get a PC for myself by the time i step into SP, till now the promise has not been delievered. by the way, the promise was made early last month. Worse still it was agreed to be a DIY comp so given the time till i started school, i duly agreed to it, only to be a made a fool in the end. Out of desperation, i thought of getting a laptop with the help of my mum's friend. all the hoo haa died down when consultations with other parties led to the downfall of the purchase of the laptop. i simply can't stand this crap anymore. i need one for my own before all the projects and researches come in.

for your info, i'm only allowed to use the comp that i'm using now till 9.30 'cause it's in my aunt's house and on top of i have to get home, human beings have to sleep too. given the average time that i got home each day after the holy pilgrimage from commomwealth west avenue to ang mo kio, how much more can my already-dead brain cramp in? no rest and straight away to the PC screen, with the face of the clock overlooking me. all under the eyes of the law are innocent until proven guilty. not under the face of the clock though. the time limit really constraint myself from giving 100% to everything i do. and i feel damn retarded. awkward. like a piece of whatever-shit.

the bottomline is, i wanna have one on my own. and i've settled for a ready-made. so being a tech goondoo, i can only understand part of the specifications listed like how a sex desperado will only comprehend the meanings of "dick", "breasts" and "fuck". so at every PC that i stop at, i can only compare that few specifications for their differences. a sex desperado is only able to compare the size of boobs and the vigourousity of fucking? pretty similar huh. but that's not the main problem that's haunting me. the ever friendly and informative store helpers are there to guide me through what i want. oh how appreciative i will be of them eventually. they will be the angels to the hell that i'm going through. but time stops for no man...

packed on weekdays, only leaving to chance on weekends. i haven't even have anything in mind on what to eye on. so that'll take up more time to survey around. till when do i have to wait? it's easy to point the finger at others but eventually, it's me who have to change the situation.

EVERYTIME ME! POINT TO ME SOMEMORE LAH! WHAT THE HELL!



fitri penned this at 9:28 AM

Friday, June 03, 2005

I'm feeling damn fucked up right now. to cut my frustrations short, it's all because of my dad. this may seem backstabbing but ironically, that's what blogging is about, unintentional backstabbing. he's really "the trouble". he created the trouble, made situation worse for others and for no valid reasons, others have to suffer. what the hell. i don't wanna elaborate on the situation. why should i publicise it? it's already enough to tarnish my soul when i'm keeping the issue to myself. what more when i make it public? just my luck to have to endure all this misery la. as a bro, i gotta give and take. as a son, i gotta give and take. when will i ever have the right to live my own? if everything has the policy of "give and take", i might as well not live as a human being in the first place.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

such a sudden change of direction in life.
without no gush of wind, nor any ripple in the water.
everything's changed in an instant.
i'm being deprived of my own rights, not to say freedom.
why must it ALWAYS happen to me?

i don't feel bad, neither do i feel sad.
but i do feel weird deep down inside of me.
that feeling that burns your soul.
that emotion that seeks to destroy the inner you.
i just simply can't put them to words.

i'm lost. totally dazed. completely forgotten of the world around me.
to tell the truth, once again i'm feeling damn
FUCKED UP !
nothing's going to go my way. never.
i gotta stop dreaming.
maybe my fate has been sealed.

i'll always live in misery.




why me? why me? why me?
why.... must it always... be me... ?

fitri penned this at 9:17 PM

Thursday, June 02, 2005

First of all, i'd like to thank my fellow 1A03 peeps for sacrificing their precious voices in singing me a "Happy Birthday" song and your invaluable pen inks in writing me a birthday card. You people have been great. Unfortunately, or rather fortunately, the birthday bash didn't happen due to the lack of manpower and i really mean MANpower. Haha! Anyway, on top of that, my very special thanks goes to the Pizza Hut or the Budget gang for treating me 2 slices of pizza, 1 bowl of mushroom soup and 1 mug of Coke. Sounds pathetic but actually it's not! I was really darn hungry and can barely carry the weight of my tummy after that. To those who wished me through SMS, testimonials and by your very own mouth, thanks once more though I've replied your kindest wishes. For my only one, I really appreciate the presents that you gave me. You know that they've been what I've always wanted and yeah, thanks for making some of my wishes come true. Before i make myself feel as if i've won an Oscar award, allow me to put a stop to this.

Finally, I've made up my mind on the CCA issue. At last my mind is at peace, well at least for the time being. I didn't know i can conquer my fear of heights and scale the wall that is about 2 or 3 storeys high. One thing that i have to adapt to is the small size of the shoes, and i mean REALLY small! my toes were numb when i finally touched the ground. they have been squeezed worst that lemons being used to make lemonades. i was limping in pain immediately when i "touch down". yet, the feeling of reaching the peak was fantastic. though not the tallest in height, reaching the peak was an unbelievable achievement for a first-timer like me.

i feel so bad not joining CSCC. furthermore, their clubhouse is directly in front of where my initial training ground will be, i suppose. what the hell. it's making me feel more guilty. still, i gotta get active into what i'm really interested in right. so yeah, i'm still able to meet my CSCC friends anyway. hopefully they're not ignorant of me!

i'm damn tired la today. all my brain juices have been drained out. so till the next post, cheerios!

fitri penned this at 8:01 PM