I got a pile of letters when I opened up the letterbox today. Very surprising for me 'cause i will only anticipate bills and advertisements everytime i open it. Still they usually come in pairs, triplets if i'm lucky. this time round, it's really classified as a pile. and much to my amazement, perhaps a little bit of horror, i got a letter from MINDEF reminding me to enlist myself online for... NS lah, what else. i came to wonder, how will life be when i finally enter NS....

Platoon Fi3: eh, what's for lunch today ah?

Platoon Bong: whatever that's on your plate lah...

Sargeant Chew: PLATOON FI3 AND PLATOON BONG! WASH ALL THE PLATES AFTER YOUR LUNCH! I ASKED YOU TO EAT, YOU TALK! YOUR TEACHERS NEVER TEACH YOU PROPER ENGLISH IS IT?

Platoon Fi3: but sir, you and i are from the same school what... our english teacher is mrs tan, remember or not? if she never teach me that means she never teach you also what...

SARGEANT Aaron: YOU DARE TO GO AGAINST SARGEANT CHEW'S WORDS! EXTRA WORK FOR YOU - GO AND CLEAN THE DINING AREA AFTER YOU'VE FINISHED WASHING THE DISHES!

Platoon Bong: see lah, who asked you to open your mouth so big? open mouth only to eat, not to talk. that's rule #1 in the army...

Sargeant Chew: WHAT'S THAT I HEAR PLATOON BONG? YOU OPEN YOU MOUTH ONLY TO EAT, NOT TO TALK! THAT'S RULE #1 IN THE ARMY! UNDERSTAND!
all the platoons: YES SIR!!!

Brigidier General Mah Ser: WHY DID YOU PLATOONS OPEN YOUR MOUTH TO TALK? 10KM RUN FOR EVERYONE NOW!!! MOVE IT, MOVE IT! ON THE DOUBLE!

After a long and tired day, night finally befalls. before lights out, i came to see Platoon Edwin and Platoon Andrew who are doing their guard duty...

Platoon Fi3: eh, where's Andrew?
Platoon Edwin: he's out on duty. just killed a terrorrist with an Artic sniper rifle...
Platoon fi3: huh? got intruder just now ah?
Platoon Andrew (from inside the guard house): i playing counter-stike online lah! just fragged a noob! keep a look out for me ah! i scared i kena spotted by Sargeant ah..
Platoon Fi3: wah, you better stop laming man, edwin.. if not you in forest later kena shot also people won't get a medic for you...
Platoon Edwin: don't worry. i won't get shot so easily one.. if we all chiong as a group ah, the enemy won't spot me so easily. i'll stay somewhere in the middle of the pack. see lah, who ask you be so tall...

How i wish i've got a weapon on hand at that time to just commit a murder... no, not killing my bunkmate but rather myself.


Back to reality, people. i've decided to apply for a deferment. i rest my case.