I always ponder for a moment why Singapore has a unreasonably high unemployment rate. i just can't find the link with unemployment and what my eyes see. i have 'four' eyes, yes i know,but i'm not totally blind. i can see, you see. I hope with my recommendations below, you will understand better why the unemployment rate in Sinagpore shouldn't be as high as it is now.

Fact #1: Singaporeans are good diggers.

They sure are! i just passed by this Metro outlet in town lately and I saw these few ladies choosing shirts from this stack of clothes being laid out in front of them. the thing is that they can't put the clothes that they didn't want or that were not of their size nicely aside. instead, they went into this 'frenzy mode' whereby they would throw the 'unwanted' clothes to their sides and dig deeper and deeper and deeper into the pile.

perhaps the spirit of 'kiasuism' is too deeply rooted in them. they were not alone either, there are 'competitors' too. fire has to be fought with fire, right? so there you go... pushing others aside and claming the entire space to yourselves. when people say that you'r fat, you deny. sometimes, people don't really mean what they actually say. so, check yourself before you digest their words. it's either you're invading their space or you are, sadly, really fat.

eh, i heard some mumbling from the men's side there. they're complaining that they don't go shopping as often as the ladies. thus, they're losing out in the digging sector of the 'industry'. well, that's a pretty sad fact right? there's no shortcut to success guys, haven't you heard enough already? it's either you start moving your asses off those kopitiam seats or you can just stay put and continue digging... your nose in public.

Fact #2: Singaporeans can be very good Olympians, can be...

Well, the government has provided world-class facilities here. it's up to you to make the difference, really! for the pole vault, you can use the long bamboo poles for practise. the discuss throw, train harder on your 'killer-littering'. the weights shouldn't pose any problems to the guys; they have been practising for so long by carrying their spouses' shopping bags, handbags and don't-know-what-other-bags. they are just acting gentlemanly in front of ladies. jot this down in your already-very-long-list-of-what-to-gossip-next.

did i mention that the 15,000 KM is "chicken feet" for Singaporeans? expect the ladies to conquer this event for they can cover the total distance in one day. Yeah, we'll be the last as the rest of the participants only took around 1 or 2 hours plus? but credit to the ladies! they have no running shoes, albeit the presence of stilettoes though! and they need to saunter and flaunt especially if the event is held on a weekend. people all over the world are looking! who doesn't want to be famous for the day?!?! get your logic right - if you win a medal, you'll be more famous than our Dim Sum Dollies.

complaining why no pay ah? sure have one... for all your hard work, you'll be rewarded 1 million bucks, 500, 000 bucks and 250, 000 bucks for getting the gold, silver and bronze award respectively. oh, did i mention that's excluding GST but without the CPF cut, not including your Medishield and Medisave savings? What about your income taxes and overdued PUB and TELCOM bills? the final amount received really depends on the indiviual itself. try your luck on this job if you really want to find out what your rewards are like.

Fact #3: Singaporeans make good debaters

"Complain, complain, complain!" That's what we do best, be it verbally or in written form. We have public forums and discussion boards everywhere. Based on my low IQ, Straits Times has it, The New Paper got one, Berita Harian has too. you shouldn't count out those newsletters distributed by your RCs and not forgetting the feedback forms that you give to numerous companies. If you're saying that I AM complaining right now, go ahead. That's what we always do best, unknowingly most of the time.

you ever realised that your feedbacks aren't mostly consturctive? "your food sucks!" "i hate the service here. very slow!" "your product doesnt' work even after 6 months of trying!" and with these comments from you, you expect to be given a reasonable explanation. how to!?!? the real problem isn't even identified! and the telephone operators that deals with customer service? oh i pity them. i salute them rather. they have been tolerating the blaring voices of our fellow citizens for quite some time now.

but despite all our numerous practices, we stil can't make the cut to be one of the best. why? well, i'm not saying that our vocabulary is limited but it is! just look at this entry of mine! (if you consider it as complaining.) how many words seem alien to you? how many words actually need the aid of Mr. Dict. for them to be clear? i don't wanna blame our 'Singlish' for our downfall in the English language but that's how it is now!

pick your job. stop making any more quabbles. i designed these jobs to suit the masses. no qualifications or any experience required. call me now for further details.