i was glued to my television set just now, watching "Project Superstar" (PS) on Channel U. the grand finals are to be screened tomorrow right? so i suppose today's episode is just about tracing back the idols' journey, how to climb to fame and et cetera. correct me if i'm wrong 'cause i can't understand Chinese or rather, Chinese characters.

i swear my poly life is going to be meaningful. i wanna live within a chinese community. it's so different and refreshing. no M&Ms (mats and minahs, the malay version of the ah bengs and ah lians), that's what i notice. sorry to sound racist here but it is a fact that everyone is, it's just the degree of it. (ICP! i was reminded by it!) anyway, i'm just stating my own heartfelt feelings and emotions. on top of all, it's a fact. so you can't run away from it!

but that doesn't mean i don't wanna be friends with Malays but it's kinda hard for me to find 'real' and pure Malays nowadays. i know of a few from my course though we aren't kinda close or anything along that line. but i do wanna learn the Chinese language. at one point of time, i was really into taking classes for it but i don't know why now i'm still like how i am now. even my mum encourages me to go for Chinese lessons. cool. thanks for the support mum!

anyway, i was digressing a bit just now. yeah, i catched a small part of that PS episode just now where Kelly went to SP and her former secondary school to sign autographs, meet her lunatic 'fans' and enjoy the barrage of flashes from cameras. of course she was escastic. flashing her million-dollar smile to her fans and signing autographs that was literally endless, Kelly has certainly achieved her "superstar" status in one way or another.

then came wei lian's turn. it was a completely different world. he went to his school for the handicapped where the people who welcomed him were also in the same boat as him; the only differences between them are their type of handicapness. there was no screaming, no shouting. the clicks of the cameras were also distinctively lesser that what Kelly had received. but wei lian was as touched as how Kelly felt too.

he can't see but he certainly can feel the love. the smiles from the handicapped students there and their mild yet sincere applauses really touched my heart. i'm not trying to say that Kelly's supporters aren't true but definitely there are people who were there just to be part of the glitz and glamour. this is especially true when Kelly paid a visit to, sadly though, SP.

wei lian also went back to his secondary school, i suppose, and despite his disability, he kept on smiling and respond in an encouraging manner to the questions imposed to him. i was really touched by his actions- sincere and true to his heart. then came the sucker punch. that stupid TV set played the track 'Tong Hua' while it was showing wei lian tearing as he stood fort himself on the stage. (okay lah, it was not the TV's fault, so sorry TV.) 'Tong Hua' leh! my favourite Chinese track to date!

much to my disbelief, my heart suddenly sank! and tears start to wet my cheeks. blame the gravitational force! the fact that this episode showed the differences in the worlds that both wei lian and kelly lived in, accompanied by the 'Tong Hua' song was simply too much for me. yes i was emotional, yes i was a bit sensitive. but really, wei lian is such a humble soul despite all the glamour and talent that he possess! maybe that's the reason why God wants him to be blind. so that he can just be himself.

aahh! it has been a long time since TV made me cry for a good reason. thanks TV! anyway, i may have put kelly in the bad light and seem to be supportive of wei lian due to sympathy but NO! congrats to the both of them, winners in their own ways! i think we shouldn't have this "overall winner" thing, especially when SMS voting plays a HUGE role in the final outcome. but the media has to survive and they're pretty smart in doing earning money.

i have seen in forums which points out people admitting that they're gonna vote 1000 times for their idols so that they can win. WAH! so rich ah! might as well give the money to tsunami victims right? they need these money more than Mediacorp, you know! i can tell the future actually. if wei lian wins, people will say he won out of sympathy. if kelly wins, they say it's unfair for wei lian cause he can't dance and thus lose in the entertaining aspect.

sigh. singaporeans only know how to complain. i actually believe the votes will be rigged somehow and figures 0f votes shown (is it shown in the first place?) will be neck-to-neck to encourage more votes from the masses. there's corruption everywhere. it's just a matter of how well you conceal it from the eyes of the public.

and darn SP! they have no sense of humanity at all! i actually wanted to go back to my secondary school today but got a presentation and test that stretches all the way from 1pm tp 5pm. oh shucks. i can't get to see my friends, i can't get to see my teachers. sorry for being repetitive but i just can't stand the annoying fact that the poly management is heartless.

i know we have to be adults. be one and treated like one. i can understand that we don't celebrate international friendship day, what more children's day. but teacher's day? No? proof to me that there is a 'Lecturer's Day' in your calendar. only then will i say that you're reasonable. aren't lecturers, basically teachers? oh well...