my devotion for soccer is so deep, yet i feel like i'm not doing enough to show my love for it. for that specific purpose, i shall dedicate this post solely in the name of 'Soccer'. and for those who know nuts about this game, read up. it will be a very helpful guide to move you one step up from the level of 'stupidity'. no lah, i'm kidding.

first and foremost, it isn't as silly as what you have always thought it is. "22 men, on the field, chasing after 1 stupid ball." c'mon lah, it is finally time to change that rotting mindset of yours. it's so much more to that. but firstly, let me introduce to you the roles of this men whom you used to refer them as 'silly'. ( i hope after this you won't anymore or maybe you still will.) they stepped onto this vast green pitch for one specific reason - to play ball.

and for that, they needed to be really disciplined so as to do their assigned roles to the utmost of their individual abilities. allow me, the genius, to explain here...

goalkeeper: as his name implies, his job is to keep the goals. simply said, he has to put the ball into his goal, for safekeeping purposes.

centreback: only people who have a centre back qualifies for this position. 'nuff said.
sideback: you can count the number of people who have side backs with your own fingers. thus, only the cream of the crop gets this job.
(centrebacks and sidebacks do their jobs using the buddy system-they have to be in pairs. their main task is to fill up a team's minimum requirement of having 11 people in each team.)

wingers: simplest of all. just imagne that they have wings and 'fly', especially along the lengths of the field.
defensive midfielder: he must be defensive of himself all the time. 'cause he'll be facing the wrath of his fellow mate, the offensive midfielder, especially when they are playing ball.
offensive midfielder: the rude, the ugly, the abusive. offending people is his forte. what more can i say? KNN BCCB?
(these 4 men must be able to work together so that the team will be harmonious. harmonious? yeah, harmonious.)

striker: the luckiest of all his team mates. everytime strike TOTO, strike 4D, strike anything but the ball he's playing.
(stikers come in pairs too. cause they need to be gay... as in happy.)

so generally speaking, your team score should read '0'-ZERO. and the oppostion's team score, made up of another 11 similar 'silly' men, should have this logic-the higher the number the better. you'll then get to know who's the winner and who's the ultimate loser.

f.y.i. soccer used to be played by MEN. people like him:

and him:

and him:

but in the recent times, weird people have filled up the soccer fields. even weirder, the number of vagina-owning creatures, who watched men play balls, are recently higher than those who owned dicks. but the weirdest of all, the vagina-owning creatures would be excited throughout the whole soccer match when the dick-owning ones will be bored to death. this is especially strange when the score at the end of the match is a stalemate 0-0.

why? these are the poeple who should be held responsible.


please let MEN play balls again.