My dear sis,
Was it really because of me?
That you fall sick, unknowingly
It was something that
I had least expected it to be?

My dear sis,
I beg you for forgiveness,
If I was the reason
For the unfortunate state that you're in now.

My dear sis,
It was all too much
Of a coincedence to me.
I really can't accept the fact
That all these are happening to you.

My dear sis,
Why must it be you?
Mum says you had it since you're born.
But really,
How I wished you didn't
Have it at all.

My dear sis,
How much longer must I bear?
The pain in me is so much more
Than what it really seems.
But I suppose,
The you're worse of than me.

My dear sis,
Can I take over your place?
So that you can be fit, strong and healthy?
So that you can be in the company of your friends?
So that you
Will not suffer the pain that's eating you now?

It has been nearly a week now since my sister step into her school compounds. How ironic can it be? Mum called on the second day of my chalet last week to say that Sis misses me a lot. On the day I returned home, Sis's already developing symptoms of her disease. I didn't know it would get worse.

I thought it was just a mild flu. It was quite normal when she starts to get a cold. But soon, Sis was literally bed-ridden for a few days. Her body was so weak that she would only get up to eat her medicine and use the loo. I was so helpless. All I could do was to watch over her.

Everytime I get back from school, I can only find her sleeping soundly. I wouldn't be long before I had to go back and sleep alone at home as I had school the very next day. (Sis is sleeping over at my aunt's house as Mum had to work and there's no one to take care of her at home.) I would really cherish the times when I can find her awake, what more when she's up on her feet. But sadly, these times don't come in often.

There's this particualr day, whereby she asked me to sleepover at my aunt's place. With a weak voice she kept on asking me nicely despite my initial rejections. I graudually agreed to it. I realized I was too self-centred. A brother's company while she sleep is all what Sis is asking for. Yet, I didn't forsee that ion her pleas. How insensitive can I be?

This was just a small sacrifice that I had to make. Sis had to catch up with her work and cope with the temporary loss of her friends. She was even concerned about her swimming class, which she couldn't attend for 2 straight weeks. And next week is the commencement of her swimming tests. How cruel can life be for her?

I don't care if she can't get the certificate to mark teh completion of her swimming classes. All I want is for her to recover. I miss her. Tears of sorrow is all I can shed for her. Medicine is Sis's only hope for recovery. And only time will tell when she'll be healthy once more.

Mum had taken many days of leave. Much money had been spent on Sis's medical fees. Yet, she's getting not getting any better. What wrong has she done to suffer all these?

Emptiness 'filled' my life. For now, I won't be the Fitri that I was, at least in my own eyes. I'll still be 'ME' in the eyes of the many.

Doc said that Sis may need to be referred to KK hospital. She had just taken her X-ray today. It could be a case of pneumonia.