Dear Diary,

sorry to flood you with 2 entries for today but this one has to go into you before my mind totally have no recall about it whatsoever.

it was already 10 at night. i was on my PC, taking a short break from studying for my FOM, when i heard this voice being projected from the outside of my house.

"HELLO! is any of your parents in?"

this voice was talking to my sister, who was in the living room! obviously i got worried. who knows it might me a conmen or any other species similar to that. thus i rushed out, only to see this suave guy at my doorstep. seeing my presence, i have no choice but to engage in a conversation with him. luckily it was something interesting, out of the norm, i should say.

"Hi, i'm from ADT and we're conducting this mass installation of smoke detectors inside the residents' houses. it'll be conducted on tomorrow and the day after tomorrow from 9am to 10pm. so if you hear a lot of police and fire engine sirens for the next 2 days, please don't be alarmed and call the police."

WHAT!!! for goodness sake, i want to stay at home and revise for my FOM paper leh! what's this??? a sign from GOD that i will flung my FOM paper for sure? i simply can't believe how timely this is. worse still, it's 9am to 10pm! for 2 days! OH GOSH! does that mean i have a new 'alarm clock' to help me wake up in the morning for the weekends? and that i should be away from my house, only to come back after 10pm for the next 2 days? ARGH!!!

"this installation is optional ah, the Government didn't force the residents to install this thing. it is free and it will be inside your house. so in case there's a fire, the alarm will sound and the fire brigade will be called in immediately. faster ah this way, never waste time. the police and ambulance will also be connected to this alarm. so it will really help you in emergencies."

FREE!!! wow! so how the hell do you earn from this shit? by getting bribed? and i don't get it at all! it is the dengue-frenzy period now and here i have, right in front of me, someone talking about installing smoke detectors in my house? for free? whatever happened to wiping off mozzies and more thermal fogging!

i have to pay $100+ for the changing of my windows' rivets but this smoke detector, which is far bigger and more sophisticated than those rivets, costs nothing? HAR!?!?! this ADT company struck lottery or what?

but isn't this idea plain stupid? what if someone's residence has a smoker and he happen to trigger the smoke detector? oh boy, things are getting more interesting in my dead neighbourhood now.

from now on, i will sit by my window every day, waiting excitedly to hear the faintest sound of the wailing sirens heading towards my neightbourhood and then be a kaypoh and rush down to see which 'pigeon-hole' kena busted.

after which i'll laugh heartily back to my house, knowing that the authorities have been fooled. ever heard the tale of 'the boy who cried wolf'? how will you know which case is genuine? don't tell me that there's a hidden camera inside the smoke detector. now that's called an invasion of privacy. the only logical reason that i can think of is that the Government wants to test the responses of these 'emergency' people in the wake of terrorists' activities of late.

"so where will the smoke detector be placed?" i asked out of curiosity.

"oh, it will be somwhere in between the kitchen and the living room 'cause the kitchen is where fires usually start, followed by the living room which has the circuit box ah."

OH! so if the curtain in my room catches fire first, i'll be the first one NOT being able to blame the smoke detector for not detecting the smoke earlier, is it?

i used to play those sparklers along my corridor when i was young during festive seasons. guess that will be down 'Memory Lane' when my neighbourhood is installed with these smoke detectors. i wouldn't want the whole neightbourhood to be woken up by loud alarms all of a sudden. and i mean real LOUD here. i heard my inquisitive neighbour asking how the alarm will sound like and the they showed her 4 different sounds of the alarm! 4! and they are all ear-piercing!!! each and every one of them!

i don't know what the outcome of this will be. here's my conclusion:

1) no more playing of sparklers along corridors, only at playgrounds and open spaces. after firecrackers, comes the banning of sparklers.

2) the number of people dying of heart attacks will increase rapidly due to sudden trigger of the alarms. innocent people that is.

3) smoke detector will be a national icon, should it go islandwide.

4) Ang Mo Kio is too dead to be a town of its own. thus, it needs a fresh injection of vibrance and enthusiasm.

you really think residents will run for their life when the alarms go off? after knowing for numerous times that they'll be running for nothing?

they'll just continue to sip their kopi,
watch the TV,
and play mahjong with their kakis.

"Haiyah, there goes another alarm. don't worry lah, quite far from here. tomorrow we'll go and see which apartment is 'black' in colour. come! come! let's continue!" goes one of the aunties.

i still can't believe that this happened. i wasn't sleep-walking, trust me. even if i was, the sounds of the alarms would be more than enough to wake me up. luckily that guy went off politely after 5 minutes talking to me, else i'll be calling the police already. No need to wait for the smoke detectors to be sounded. Some things are still best done manually.

If you see me busking along Orchard Road during the next 2 days, most probably i'm just taking a break from my studies. and earn some fast bucks along the way too.