My old friend, not literally though, Edwin suddenly has a liking for horny people. Make that girls. Okay, who doesn't like them especially when they come in handy in times of 'emergencies', right?But his case is terrible! Horrible! So much so that he wanna get to know the horniest people in my class. In fact, he has already targeted one. Who? Make a guess...

... and keep on guessing 'cause I ain't gonna reveal who. But whether his perception is right or wrong, that's only known to me! Haha! Sorry bro. =)

Hmmm, I was reading this local universities' online newsletter or such called the FUNKgrad. Damn, the articles written are cool. Matured yet in a youthful manner. And they really make me look foward to going into universities. Okay, I sound as if I've fallen into their trap of propaganda. I'll show you snippets of their life and you call the shots yourself.


I come from an infamous hall from NXX. To protect the 'innocent' as well as not to land my editors into any lawsuits, let me refer to my hall as Horny Hall. This hall was my first choice because according to my reliable sources, Horny Hall has a reputation -

'The girls are damn horny. Everyone sleeps around. Very happening!'.

Everyone knows that not just Horny Hall, but many other halls as well, have some sort of 'reputation'. I am sure you have come across news reports of students being evicted out of hostels due to 'undesirable behaviour' before. Sex among students in hostels is 'illegal' and if caught, be prepared to pack up and move back to your hometown. However, it is a well-known fact that despite these written rules, many students still commit their irrepressible deeds, albeit 'hush-hush' behind locked doors.

That's a confession of a hostel-occupant in NUS. Though I've come to realize that not everyone is the same but hey, I bet majority are! They even segment the people there! (Shit! Can't get FOM outta my head!)

1. The Jock (a.k.a soccer/rugby/basketball/swimming captain)
Horny Index: 8/10

He is an ex-commando with a keen sense of agility and exudes physical prowess. He is tall, tanned, muscular (need not always be) and good looking. You seldom see him in his room, but he can be located easily either at the football field or basketball court. Even if he is in his room, it will be locked, with a sign saying 'Do Not Disturb'. Chances are when you get to talk to him, he has another babe in his arms

2. The Netball Captain
Horny Index: 8/10

She is tall, lithe and tanned. No one ever fails to comment on her beautiful legs. She is too well-liked by everyone. Her fans are made up of both boys and girls who claim that they admire her superb netball techniques. Yeah right. When you do not see her around, she is probably in the jock's room.

8. The Invisible (a.k.a the Pervert)
Horny Index: 10/10

He is so mysterious and will never ever look into your eye. He only appears when you are either doing your laundry or having a bath. Now we know where all our undergarments have disappeared to.

The above are typical profiles of students across all halls in Singapore based on my personal observations, but this list is not exhaustive. Having spent 2 semesters in Horny Hall, I have experienced the 'wonders' of hall life and I am hungry for more. What are you waiting for then? Go apply for a hostel room too! (You can tell your parents that you get motion sickness travelling to school everyday, I am sure they would think it is better for your own good.)

Okay, enough of the 'dirty' stuff. Let's get a little realistic here. Here's other stuffs that's rocking the hostels down at night.

5. Night Stalking

There is a special activity carried out by secretive individual(s) who seem to delight in turning belongings into thin air. You'll know when they've struck when a distraught soul reflects it on his or her MSN nick. For items of a more personal nature, however, a more hushed approach is usually adopted.

Oops! Wrong frequency! *twitch* *twitch* Ahh, that's better.

4. Movies Inc.

Answering the government's call for innovation and creativity are a group of enterprising residents who have successfully converted their hovels into well-equipped entertainment centres. Boasting of advanced home theatre systems with a wide selection of movie, anime and even console game titles, who needs cinemas and arcades?

7. Sup-Ex (Supper Expedition)

It's hard to get hungry in the halls nowadays. With a generous helping of hall suppers, supper vans and even the occasional door-to-door deliveries, perhaps the only thing found lacking is cash. As there are no curfews imposed by the hall administration, hall denizens have been known to make forays beyond the campus way past midnight, aided considerably by late night bus services 179 and 199.

With so much to look forward to, it's no wonder that numerous hall residents have proudly embraced nocturnal living as a new way of life, making it an integral component of the hall experience.

Okay, enough of hostel life. I think I'm getting carried away here. Haha! and oh! I forgot something! Girls! Girls to guys are like oxygen to guys. They are both equally important. =) I have to be a little bit sexist here. Sorry. Can't blame it, I'm a guy by natural means.

Here's the types of girls that FUNKgrad has compiled. But of course there's more than what meets the eye...

But seriously I tried searching for the 'guys' version but I couldn't find any. Maybe the editorial deparment is male-dominated. Hahaha!

But don't get brainwashed yet thinking that you can slack in universities and that you need to spend loads of money to look cool and be on the radar of other people! Sure there can be 1000 people in a lecture hall and that you can easily DON'T pay attention. But remember the hole that you have burnt in your pocket that have made it possible for you to go to universitites!

Hey, why am I speaking as if I have gone through the university era? Get back down to Earth Fitri. It must have been those articles that I've read in FUNKgrad. It's certainly worth the look. ;)

(I may sound 'cheap' but I think I'll just be those kaypohs who look-hear-and-see the stuffs that are happening around in universities, SHOULD I have the chance to step my foot in them. But I believe life in there doesn't stop at hostels only, neither does it start there.

I wonder if the same thing happening in polytechincs too? Hmmm...Let's play 'Detective' next time during breaks. =) All pictures and snippets of articles are courtesy of FUNKgrad.)