fitree.blogspot.com

Things Not To Be Done... For Sure

1) Wear short/ mini skirts... especially when you're not fit for it

I saw this 50-odd- year- old auntie the other time at Woodlands. She was wearing this skirt from OP which has 'OP GIRL' printed at the back of the skirt. Yes, an auntie. And if you've seen one before, you'd know how short it is. OMG! Her big, flabby, aging thighs! OMG! My eyes! If you got it, sure you can flaunt it. But if you don't please... don't be a burden to everyone.

2) Be in touchy, 'feel here and there' mode in the MRT

Please lah! Got babies in mummy's arms around, kids in prams and senior citizens, who are probably getting very envious of you, in the carriages okay! Show some respect can? And guys, don't act as if you're feeble. Thumping onto your girlfriend when the train jerks at the slightest impact. ?!?!?! Just want your crotch and hands to be where you want it to be right? No wonder we have NS, perhaps our men ARE weak.

3) Pressing the bell repeatedly... especially in the bus

GAH! SO DAMN BLOODY FREAKING IRRITATING YOU BUGGER! you think the bus driver is deaf? you think the bell's not working? It's you, arsehole! It's your ears that aren't functioning! Get that into your head, can? Worse thing is, it's not children who does it. It's teenagers dropping at Far East, Centrepoint, blablabla...

4) Dig in public

Dig what? Doesn't matter if you're digging for your wallet or such. But please, no nose and no crotch. Once I was in the train and saw this china-man putting his hand directly into his shorts, while the other hand was used to hold his handphone. Phone sex? I doubt so. He doesn't seem to enjoy it. Maybe he had pressed '1' for English.

5) Lean onto the pole

Those in the MRT, that is. If you're a hot and sexy seniorita, you can jolly well have the pole and do what you do best. But if you aren't, believe me... people are surely not looking foward to gripping your butt. They'd rather be put to the test of balance while on the train.

6) Let your child pee...

... into the longkang. In front of everybody. While you wait in the car. And let the public witness. How well your son. Has taken the qualities of his daddy. 'Nuff said.

7) Go into the fitting room with your partner, be it legal or not

Guy: Come, come...
Girl: Don't want lah... cannot more than two persons what...
Guy: Haiyah, never mind lah. Nobody also, you scared for what? I want you to see if these suit me or not.

Of course they didn't realise I was only a few feet behind. Muahahahaha! A few seconds after the door goes 'CLICK!'...

Guy: So, what do you think?
Girl: Hmmm... quite nice.
Guy: You like it?
Girl: Yeah...

(Pause)

Girl: Try to put this on...
Guy: Like this?
Girl: Yeah...
Guy: You like this one better?
Girl: Yeah... but I think you should cut it. It's a bit too long for you.

!!!!! Hahaha! It's the pants that she's referring to of course. But still, while I don't mind kids being inside together with their mummies and daddies and despite knowing how high the testosterone level will rise when guys are in such intimate spaces, fitting rooms are strictly for one person only.

As good as the ventilation is, I believe the oxygen content is only enough for one person. And I sure don't mind being selfish here...