fitree.blogspot.com

Now I'm so into blogging that use it to destress myself. Why not since I hog the computer once I get home everytime? I didn't know I can turn into such a computer-freak ever since I entered polytecnic life. At times, I won't even talk to my mum and watch the TV set in my living room.
Maybe I'm leading a 'wired life'. I read news online, I have my music online, I 'talk' online, I yada yada yada online. Except that I can't pee, eat, bathe and sleep online. Else, I'd rather live in the World Wide Web (is that a pun???).

Anyway, as if I didn't made myself clear at other times, DVPA rocks my sock and stones by bones! -_- I know it's lame, I just wanna get my point through here. After Ms. Kwa's brief introduction to the different roles in the production studio, I suddenly feel that I wanna be the cameraman, the sound engineer, the visual mixer...

Anything except the director! And maybe the casts too, perhaps... It's kinda stressful to be a director. And I don't have what it takes to be an actor, serious or not. Perhaps it's down to a thing called 'preference'. I just prefer NOT to be the director or cast, I suppose? 'cause the sound and especially visual mixer's job is much more cooler?

Hah! How naive can I be? Besides for the upcoming CA for DVPA, everyone HAS to be the director. So there'll be no running away from huge responsibilities this time round. What's that 'Spiderman' tagline again? "With big ..... comes big responsibilities." Argh, I can't seem to recall it in any way...

And I can't imagine that I took so long to read another Dan Brown's book. After being fascinated by the 'Da Vinci's Code', I actually took a couple-of-months-long hiatus before I picked up another of his famous line of books, 'Angels and Demons'. And I have to say that it is freaking rocking my whole world right now. The sad thing is, I only read it in my numerous train trips to and fro of SP. That's like killing 2 birds with 1 stone if you get what I mean. Furthermore, I just don't like to read when I really got other things to do.

And I just realised this FACT today. The MRT station, Braddell? I've never been to that place before, as in never ever actually alighted at Braddell and see what it's like outside the station. This is after 17 incredible years I'm living in a place called Ang Mo Kio, which is only 2 stops away from Braddell? Now who says Singapore is big, eh?

This is an excerpt of my mind, which is at an unease at the moment....

Never have I felt like this before. Finally, fortunately or unfortunately, I found someone whom I dare say is SHIT. Not handicapped by any means, perfect by nature. Just crippled by own ego, I should say. A DAMN BLOODY FUCKING BIG EGO.

I mean, "Who do you think you are? Thinking that you're superior, not wanting to accept other people's views just 'cause you want things to go YOUR own way? Do you think you've commanded enough respect to actually influence people through your means and ways? I have other sources to make me laugh other than this issue, man..."

I pity this kinda people; destroyed completely, emotionally and psychologically, by something called 'EGO'. Yeah, it's Mr. EGO, spelt as 'E-G-O once more. Funny eh, it's within you. By right, YOU should control it, not Mr. EGO himself. But some people, I don't know why, just can't have the ability to control it. And this is their handicap. It's them, themselves. Such a pity...

The worse part is, they think that it's normal! That it's really them, when the truth is, it's not! Now that God has fated me to meet these people, what can I do? I have never been stab in the back and yet not see the dagger hanging loosely by my wound. I have never seen lies that are being used for personal glory, to boost that DAMN BLOODY FUCKING THING CALLED 'EGO'! I have never been exposed to people who appear nice in the surface when they actually have a hidden agenda behind whatever shit they're doing...

No, I have never...

But now, I'm beginning to learn the trades of life. Call it a transition, but I prefer it to be a metamorphosis (Just love this word here...). I'll try as best as I can to be me, as in the real me. But I hope that when the enemy within strikes, I will be ready to counter it.

Now I sound like Dan Brown.. just a little, I suppose.

FUCK THAT DAMN THING CALLED EGO. It stinks your attitude without you realising, makes you feel high in the wrong manner and... it.. as.. i...

bottomline is: it sucks.