Friday was such a strange day. As I alighted at Raffles Place to change trains, I noticed a distinct lack of noise there. Noises from crowds that is. From people literally shouting at their handphones to stilettos 'whacking' the concrete stairs, everything was absent.

In fact, I had the chance to stand behind the yellow line on that day. Usually, I'm way behind.. that i just feel like standing in front of the doors. Indeed Singaporeans are clever, huh? Taking leave on last Friday is certainly the RIGHT thing to do. For those who think that they're smarter and took leave strategically on Monday, Wenesday AND Friday, think again..

I bet your first day of work will be greeted by a termination letter on your desk. Yes, you are refreshed. You certainly need that loads amount of energy to clear all the rubbish from your workspace and drag yourself out of your company's buliding. Either that, or you should really thank your lucky stars that you're still alive and kicking in front of your PC. Si beh lucky sia these buggers...

I know I'm being mean, insensititve or whatever... but that's not my point of this post, really. It's more to the big hoo-haa that occured at Padang lately. And no, it's not the fact that the grass there has FINALLY being trimmed.

It was going an event that was about to be THE event of the year... everything was perfect; the stage was set, the response was overwhelming and there were no terrorists in the midst of the crowds. Phew.. good job Mr. Policeman.

Then came the moment, the unveiling of Ocean's real face! "AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" went the screams.

Ocean: "TADAAAH!!! HI PEOPLE! HERE I AM! YES, YES! I'M OU DE YANG! THE ONE WHOM YOU'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT WAS LANKY, BOYISH AND LONG-HAIRED! 26 YEARS OLD SOME MORE LEH!"


Guy in blue: "Eh, I thought I saw someone like him making kopi-o at the hawker centre just now? He change so fast ah? WHOA!!! Mummy, Mummy......"

Girl in red: "Har.. why his face like that one? I thought he's soooo charming, sooo handsome. I dream of him every night till my I wet my bed but when I see him now, why I feel like puking ah?"

Girl in orange: "Wah CB, who's this bugger? I want to Ou De Yang and then this China-man like person come out of nowhere. KNN, cheat my time and effort only..."


Girl in purple: "Erm.. erm... I.. I... I'm... speechless..."


Ocean: "AH LAI, LAI... SHAKE MY HAND COME.. AH, IT'S FREE YOU KNOW! I KNOW SINGAPOREANS LIKE FREE THINGS SO I LET YOUR SHAKE MY HAND FOR FREE LAH HOR. MY HANDS VERY NICE RIGHT? VERY SMOOTH, VERT SOFT.. LATER I LET YOU SEE THE CREAM THAT I USE, OKAY AUNTIE!"


Aunties: "YAY! OU DE YANG IS GOING TO LET US SEE THE CREAM THAT HE USE!!! MY HUSBAND IS GOING TO BE A VERY HAPPY PERSON NOW! NOW I CAN STROKE HIS DICK EVERY NIGHT WITH MY SMOOTH AND SILKY HANDS! EH, EH.. WE TAKE YOUR PICTURES FIRST HOR!!! *click* *click* *click*

Okay lah, don't say I bias. There were some who were really enthusiastic enough. I wonder why, really.. In fact I think they were just showing off their digicams to this photographer who's standing in front of them to take their picture. Don't believe me?


Isn't this more obvious then? One happy family! And I bet their faces will change once they see the real Ou De Yang. Smiles will become frowns and the girl's 'peace' sign will turn into a middle finger 'fuck you'. That's how bad I predict it'll be.

Okay, enough of the flak that Ou De Yang's receiving from me. Enough of the actions over at the Padang. Let's go to the press conference, where all will be forgiven...


Ocean: "I would like to thank all my fans who have tolerated my bullshitting about my looks and such. But I am handsome and cute right? Thanks so much. You guys have been great. Please buy my albums, okay? Bye!"

Oh how I hate this guy now. Can you actually tolerate lies? Big lies that is? And he's so thick-skinned that he doesn't even care about how disappointed his fans and supporters will be when his actual self doesn't match the their expectations. He still dare to say that he's only 26 when he's already 30-odd!!! How low can he stoop? No doubt he has the voice but if I was an ardent fan of his (touch wood..) I would have gone into a depression by now.

And by the way, his wife looks like Xiang Yun to me, the one acting as 'Hua-jie' in the drama serial 'Portrait of Home'.


No? Oh sheesh, I think I have to visit the optician once more...

(P.S. This are just my views. Of course the dialouges weren't really made by this freaking liar. And of course I was just expressing my views, my distaste to be exact. In fact, I wouldn't wanna see this guy on the streets 'cause I'll make sure his name matches his condition then- by throwing him into the 'ocean'. And of course the pictures were courtesy of 'The Electric New Paper'.)