fitree.blogspot.com

You know of the song, or if you prefer it to be a saying, "All I want for Christmas is you"? I think if you're NOT an an orphan or a heartbroken lad or a loner or someone who has lost a loved one recently or...

You get the point.

... then don't swear by this phrase, can? 'cause I think it's bullshit. It's equivalent to "Looks doesn't matter, it's the heart that matters the most. If your partner goes to you and say, "Dear, all I want for Christmas is you..." there's only two possibility.

1) Your partner really WANT YOU, especially to accompany him/her through the night with you-know-what.

2) Your partner is HINTING to you that he/ she is expecting something great from you. That's in terms of the presents.

But trust me, usually you'll end up with both. 'cause when she (usually it's a 'she', though I have nothing against the female community) shows you the 'puppy face', together with those magical words, you'll die for anything that will satisfy your heart. And after which you jolly well know that you'll get your reward sooner or later. Unless she plays hard-to-get lah.

You know what I want for Christmas? For Singapore to go up the standings in DUREX's 'Frequency of sex' survey.

We are almost lciking the foot of the table, mind you! 79 times a year compared to the French who fucked 137 times per annum!!! HOLY SHIT! We're said to be 'sexually inactive'! Talk about a negative connotation here! I'm pretty surprised that Japan's the last considering the hype over the girls over there.

But, with that NOT being the main point here, how I wish I really do celebrate Christmas. Because for me, all I want for Christmas is...

1) A digicam

Maybe not of this line. I'm not used to overlooking digicam's technical specifications just yet as I have, maybe, with mp3s.

2) An electronic drumset

I've always wanted this. The spirit of drumming will forever be in me. Just wondering where can I stuff it my my puny, little HDB apartment. It can be my new stress-buster too. See, Mum... I told ya it's gonna be of a good use.

3) An acoustic guitar

An IBANEZ one can? Guess I can be a busker next time round should Singapore hit a recession. At least it's better than the oldest job ever- prostitution.

4) An XBOX 360

I'll pass PS3. It's just way too bulky. And I think this baby here satisfies me better in terms of her graphics and sounds. I know that sounds kinda... wrong.

Who does want gizmos? Techies? Gadgets? Tell me...

I whack that person left, right, upside down. Worse still if he/ she says "All I want for Christmas is you". ~~I'll call my gang come down and beat up up like minced up. You just watch out.~~

But considering the Christmas spirit, I've decided to be a good Samatarian. I
ll spare you till Boxing Day. Then you will have no reason not to get beaten up by me.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

p.s. I have a Christmas present for you, Santa! If you're in need of a massage, you can try OSIM's iSqueeze, U-Zap and iPamper at various shopping centres around Singapore. For Free!!! I saw the aunties and uncles trying them and I swear they ~~look as if they had an orgasm~~ really look like they're enjoying themselves!